Twisted Wishes

Granted, but it doesn't like you.

I wish I had a better TV.

Granted, but it has a hole in the middle.

I wish I had an awesome, purple background.

Granted, but it has a trojan virus.

I wish I could play my ROMs on my DS.

Granted, but you break your DS.

I wish I had FFVIII.

Granted, but it's in Chinese.

I wish I could stay here all night.

Granted, but you get so tired that you fall asleep anyway.

I wish I could duplicate myself.

Granted, but your copies become criminals, and police captures you instead of them.

I wish I could read in complete darkness.

Granted, but the books are all in another language.

I wish my cat would STOP biting me!

Granted, but it scratches you instead.

I wish I had a cat.

Granted, but it's a demon cat and chews you to death.

I wish I could have been on yesterday.

Granted, but WPF would have been in maintenance.

I wish I was immortal.

Granted, but you have nothing to live for.

I wish my sister would stop taking so damn long on the computer!

Granted, but you can't use it either way.

I wish we had telepathy, so I wouldn't wait for you when you're not coming and we could speak any time.

Granted, but you're stuck with all my spazzy, unrelated (sometimes perverted) thoughts.

I wish that there were more hours in a day.

(You'd be stuck with mine, which are similar. Gwahaha.)

Granted, but you have to spend more hours at school.

I wish I had 10 million dollars that I can spend.

Granted, but I walk in and set it on fire.

I wish I had a greater internet limit.

Granted, but you speed is reduced to the minimum possible.

I wish my WiFi signal covered all my house.

Granted, but internet is taken down.

I wish I had some yams right now. *Starry eyed look.*

Granted, but they're shiny and blind you when you try to look at them.

I wish I had an usable plane ticket to any country I wanted to go to.

Granted, but the plane you're on crashes and burns to ashes.

I wish I had...a pizza pie!

Granted, but advertising gets you on the run and you need therapy for advertising causes.

I wish I had an electric guitar.

Granted, but you can't play it.

I wish I had an Anbu mask.

Granted, but you can't take it off.

I wish all continents were together.

Granted, but there is a civil war.

I wish I had control over my emotion. Perfect control.

Granted, but you lose part of your personality.

I wish I had contact lenses to change my eyes' color.